


The Article

by ryttu3k



Series: Resilience [4]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Acceptance, Agender Character, Everyone is Queer, Everyone is Trans, Genderfluid Character, Journalism, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), LGBTQ Themes, Mentors, Other, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Queer Families, Queer Themes, Queer Youth, Self-Acceptance, Social Justice, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, past self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-28 01:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6307807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryttu3k/pseuds/ryttu3k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[18:49] ProfASycamore: totally hypothetically<br/>[18:49] ProfASycamore: if someone was to come out as nb<br/>[18:50] ProfASycamore: and theyre a (semi-?)public figure<br/>[18:50] ProfASycamore: wat would be the best way to do that??</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Article

* LumioseAlexa has logged on  
[18:46] ProfASycamore: question!  
[18:46] LumioseAlexa: Possible answer!  
[18:47] ProfASycamore: :P  
[18:47] ProfASycamore: i have a hypothetical question  
[18:47] ProfASycamore: and i need ur journalistic advice  
[18:47] LumioseAlexa: Sure what's the q?  
[18:49] ProfASycamore: totally hypothetically  
[18:49] ProfASycamore: if someone was to come out as nb  
[18:50] ProfASycamore: and theyre a (semi-?)public figure  
[18:50] ProfASycamore: wat would be the best way to do that??  
[18:50] LumioseAlexa: Depends on their reason? Like do they want headlines, do they want to promote themselves, or is there another reason?  
[18:51] ProfASycamore: def another reason  
[18:51] ProfASycamore: like this hypothetical person wants their students to know wat being nb is  
[18:52] ProfASycamore: help trans kids realize theyre not alone  
[18:52] ProfASycamore: theyre getting to know their son now and dont want him to ever feel like his parent did at the same age  
[18:53] ProfASycamore: because at 17 they were depressed and selfharmed and suicidal  
[18:53] ProfASycamore: didnt know who they were  
[18:53] ProfASycamore: didnt even know the words to explain it  
[18:54] ProfASycamore: and i want to tell them theyre not alone  
[18:55] ProfASycamore: uh i mean this hypothetical person!!  
[18:55] LumioseAlexa: lol subtle  
[18:55] LumioseAlexa: Yeah I can help you out  
[18:56] LumioseAlexa: It might be good to frame it as a feature article on trans youth and talk about issues they're fighting  
[18:56] LumioseAlexa: And include profiles from trans people who've been through all that  
[18:57] LumioseAlexa: Would your sister and aunt be interested?  
[18:57] ProfASycamore: absolutely  
[18:57] ProfASycamore: u could talk to some of the gym leaders/other e4 too  
[18:58] ProfASycamore: wulfric's v open and would b good for perspective of someone who transitioned later  
[18:58] ProfASycamore: and hes a dad too  
[18:59] ProfASycamore: olympia too and she could talk about mental health issues  
[19:00] LumioseAlexa: Sure!  
[19:00] LumioseAlexa: I'll ask Vivi too  
[19:00] LumioseAlexa: She can talk about youth group  
[19:01] ProfASycamore: ok sounds good!!  
[19:01] ProfASycamore: oh two of my kids went to the same youth group apparently!  
[19:01] ProfASycamore: shauna said she recognized her from it when she got her badge  
[19:01] ProfASycamore: do u think the parade means theyre celebrities now?  
[19:02] ProfASycamore: haha  
[19:02] LumioseAlexa: lol  
[19:02] LumioseAlexa: Might not be bad to get some actual youth perspective! Ask them, they may be more self-conscious but I can promise anonymity  
[19:03] ProfASycamore: sure!  
[19:03] LumioseAlexa: I'll work on an outline then get back to you ok?  
[19:03] LumioseAlexa: We'll do good with this  
[19:04] ProfASycamore: thank u lexi ur the best  
[19:04] LumioseAlexa: I know ;) Take care Augi  
[19:04] ProfASycamore: u 2 night lexi!  
* LumioseAlexa has logged off

 

_"When you don't have the words to describe who you are, it's a tremendously isolating experience."_

_Kalos' young Pokemon professor, Augustine Sycamore, swirls his coffee around the cup thoughtfully, a pensive expression on his face. He is sitting in a favourite cafe not far from the laboratories on Southern Boulevard where young trainers can get starters and advice, dressed casually in skinny jeans and an oversized sweater, hands moving constantly - doodling on a newspaper, fidgeting with a bracelet around one wrist._

_"I was young when I realised I was unhappy being seen as a girl, but honestly, I had no idea what the options were. My twin sister was so sure in her identity, so completely confident about being a girl - it wasn't until I was eleven and facing the prospect of a Bat Mitzvah that I realised that I didn't want to be seen as female for the rest of my life. My parents were superb, they were happy to let me present as male, but I still wasn't really happy myself."_

_"As I grew older, my identity, my self-image - it was terrible. I was depressed, I self-injured, I smoked and drank well before I was supposed to. I was constantly bullied. I was this little ball of anger." He smiles wryly, self-deprecating, and shakes his head. "I thought the best way to fit in was to just try and be a 'normal' cis girl, but my idea on what that meant was, ah, warped. I honestly wasn't surprised when I ended up pregnant when I was sixteen."_

_The professor draws out a worn photograph - it's a teenager in a hospital bed, cradling a tiny newborn. He looks at it fondly, leaving it on the table as we speak, two fingers resting against the old photograph. "I wasn't surprised, but I_ was _terrified. I knew I wasn't well and that I was completely incapable of being a parent, and I wanted my son to have the best possible life - I don't regret that he was adopted and was able to be raised in a happy and safe and secure household where he was loved, but I do regret not being able to raise him. Perhaps if I had known more about myself, I wouldn't have become pregnant so young, and perhaps things would be different."_

 _He smiles warmly, looking down at the photograph again. "But I'm getting to know the wonderful human being he is now. He's the same age I was when I became a parent - and I want him, and all of his fellow students, and every kid who's ever felt_ different _to know that they're not broken, they're not wrong, they're not 'confused'. I never want a child to feel the way I did, before I learned about being genderfluid and about non-binary genders, before I learned the words to describe myself. I want my son and everyone of his generation to be happy, and to know that however they identify, they're not alone."_

 

Calem is biting his lip, his eyes fixed on the article - an advanced copy before it goes to print, perks of being an interviewee. Augustine watches him anxiously, twisting a bracelet around his wrist; a thin gold chain decorated with pink, blue, and white beads. "What do you think?" he asks, feeling anxiety sitting in his chest like a weight.

Glancing up, Calem smiles self-consciously, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Thanks for calling me wonderful," he says, although he still sounds mareepish. "Um, I'm glad I'm getting to know you too."

Augustine tries to grin back reassuringly, stirring his coffee. "I mean it, though - I feel so lucky to know you! Your other parents raised you into a superb young man." He chuckles, adding, "It's good to know that not _all_ my teenage decisions were bad ones."

Calem manages a laugh as well, then glances back at Augustine curiously. "Actually," he says hesitatingly, "I've kind of been wondering... I looked up nonbinary stuff a bit after we met, and I've sort of been thinking."

"Oh?" Augustine raises an encouraging eyebrow, gesturing for Calem to continue, and hides a smile at the thought that if Calem is going to say what Augustine suspects he's going to say, then being trans apparently runs in the family.

"Well, like..." Calem runs another hand through his hair. "Like, you said Aunt Diantha knew she was a girl really early, but you didn't? I mean, know what you were. And I was just reading all this stuff, and. There's a word for someone who doesn't really feel like _anything_ , right?" His words are coming out in a rush, eyes fixed on the table. "Like I tried to imagine being a girl and I couldn't, really, but then I also realised that I didn't really have anything to compare it to, because what does being a guy feel like, anyway? And I was just thinking that maybe I'm not really anything. So, uh - agender, I guess."

 _Called it,_ Augustine thinks to himself. Reaching out to place a hand reassuringly on Calem's (now out of his hair and tearing a napkin to shreds), he instead just smiles. "I'm glad you've been able to find something that fits."

Calem shrugs again, although he doesn't pull his hand back. "Well, I think it fits. It just... I guess it feels more right than being a guy does." He glances up through his hair, smiling in a faintly terrified way. "I don't know, I'm just sort of thinking about it for now."

Augustine nods, giving his hand a pat before drawing it back and reaching for his coffee. "If you're comfortable with it, go talk to Dexio," he says encouragingly, "He can give you some insights on being agender. What pronouns would you like to use?"

Calem looks startled, as if the question has caught him off-guard - well, Augustine reasons, he's fairly certain he's never been asked the questions before. "Uh... the boy ones, I guess?" he finally says slowly. "Like - at least until I work out other ones."

"Kalosian doesn't really have good neutral pronouns," Augustine agrees ruefully. "Unovan does - you can use 'they' and 'them' to refer to a single person as well as a group - so those are an option. And there's also others like 'xe' and 'xir', 'sie' and 'hir'..."

Starting to look overwhelmed, Calem nods once. "I'm just going to stick with boy ones for now," he says with a slight laugh, "Although - maybe you could call me your progéniture instead of your fils. It sounds nice and pretentious."

Augustine grins. "Not 'bébé'? 'Enfant'? 'Mon petit'? Ooh, how about 'fruit'?"

"Papa-a-a!"

 

_"We've got to ditch the idea that trans people have to hate their bodies."_

_Wulfric Berglund, gym leader of Snowbelle City, is a mountain of a man, fitting the snowy home environment of his chosen type speciality. But, he points out, he was a mountain of a woman, too, and no less a powerful trainer for it._

_"Never was too thrilled with people seeing me as a lady. 'Specially after I had the kids! But that's more social dysphoria, y'know? My body's a good body. It's strong, it's tough, it carried three healthy kids, it's better at handling the cold than you wimpy Kalosians." He chuckles, the pride in his far northern heritage obvious. "Testosterone's great for getting a badass beard, but surgery? Hell no. It's all well and good for folks with physical dysphoria, and damn, I feel for 'em, y'know? But the idea that all trans folk_ have _to hate their bodies is only gonna push the non-dysphoric ones away. All you need to be trans is identifying with a gender other than your assigned one. Anything beyond that? That's down to individual human experience."_

_It's an idea that's growing in acceptance, that it's entirely possible to be transgender without experiencing physical dysphoria. And it's an idea that's particularly being taken up by young people, like 16-year-old trans girl Emma*._

_"I started puberty blockers when I was twelve, right? But that's just a temporary thing! And I was meant to start estrogen after my birthday, but..." She twirls a strand of hair around her finger, a petite little thing who seems to have trouble sitting still in her chair. "But I don't think I'm going to, now! Hormones are good for some, my friend Gabriel* is starting them, but you know what I think? I think that all bodies are good bodies, and so it's time to stop puberty blockers and get the body I'm meant to have, whatever it looks like. And it won't be a boy body - it'll be_ my _body, and I'm a girl!"_

_* Not their real names_

 

"'Emma' is Shauna, I presume," Lysandre says slowly, the advance copy of the article on his lap. "And if not, there's a young lady out there with very similar speech patterns."

Augustine grins mareepishly from his chair. "Officially, I'm not supposed to say. Unofficially, Shauna won't stop telling anyone who stays still long enough that she's going to be in a magazine - it's just the magazine's youth policy that enforces false names."

Lysandre makes a non-committal sound at that, continuing to read through the segment. "It's given me ideas that, I must admit, I had not entertained before," he finally confesses, setting it down. "You remember what I was like when we met, of course."

("How on Earth does 'nonbinary' work? You are male or you are female, are you not?")

"All too well," Augustine laughs.

Managing another tight smile, Lysandre glances back down at it. "It seems that my education is to continue - about not experiencing dysphoria, I mean." He's frowning, though, brushing a hand over his chest. "Have you?"

Augustine lets out a thoughtful hum. "Social dysphoria, yes," he finally says, the concept solidifying in his mind. "Most days, I'm not too keen on being seen as female." He lets out a slightly strained chuckle. "The worst of it was when I was carrying Calem. I'm sure you can imagine how many resources for pregnant teenagers are aimed exclusively at girls."

"I'm sure," Lysandre murmurs.

"But body dysphoria?" Augustine shakes his head. "I don't think so. I like my body. To quote a wise young lady, all bodies are good bodies, aren't they?" He settles his gaze on Lysandre's face, focusing on those blue eyes, a smile touching his lips. "What about you?" he finally says softly.

Lysandre doesn't answer immediately. There's a frown on his face again, his expression lost and sad, and Augustine reaches for his hand automatically. Lysandre flips his hand, lacing their fingers together, gazes at their joined hands for a long moment.

"I had always thought," he says softly, "That I needed to be perfect. That I needed to be the man I saw in my head, and that meant having the body I thought was a necessary part of that. Perhaps, had I the opportunity to do things over, had there been children like Shauna around to show me a better way to do things, I would not take the same path. How I saw my body was symptomatic of how I saw the entire world - that it was necessary to take whatever steps it would take to achieve perfection, no matter how painful."

He laughs, shakily, sadly, and there are tears in his eyes.

"Look where it got me. I have lost my leg and my foot. I will never use my left hand again. The brain damage has permanently changed me. I have a long spell in psychiatric care ahead of me. And I have destroyed any trust that others may have in me." Lysandre shakes his head. "All those surgeries - I do not think I would do them over. The top surgery, perhaps, but no further. I have caused myself pain and have permanently scarred myself to fit an ideal that I thought I had to conform to. Others who have had surgery have been completely happy with the results. I never have been. Perfection is not, in fact, obtainable. But I do not know what is."

Augustine leans forward and, very gently, drops a kiss on Lysandre's lips. "We can work it out together, find some sort of happy medium," he says softly. "You made mistakes. That's okay. It's okay. It happened, and now you can move on and heal. And we'll work it out together."

 

_"We need to work together to protect our most vulnerable members of society."_

_Diantha Sycamore, twin sister to Augustine and better known as champion superstar Diantha Carnet, is a woman with a plan. Having just purchased the beautiful Cafe Soleil, she has the plan to create Lumiose City's first LGBTQ+ cafe - an all-ages-appropriate hang-out and social centre for anyone who needs it._

_"Everyone knows of the existence of gay bars. But they're only open to adults when it's often kids and teens who most need somewhere to go, there's a focus on sex, drugs, and alcohol that's exclusionary to asexual people, people in relationships, people who just don't want to find casual sex or get drunk... they're only open extremely late, they're extraordinarily noisy, which can be hell for disabled people and others with sensory issues... and, quite frankly, they tend to be the domain of young buff cis gay men with the occasional token nod to cis lesbians. If you're a disabled trans teenager, they don't want you there. A cafe, however, can be open during the afternoon, they're much quieter, and they don't alienate those who don't want to take part of the clubbing lifestyle."_

_The cafe is already undergoing renovations. Having also bought the building directly behind it, under Diantha's guidance, it is expanding into a social centre, complete with education and activities. There will be meet-ups for teenagers to interact in a safe space, calm evening dinners, and - only on Saturday nights and Sunday mornings to begin with, but with plans to expand further - overnight services, where those who need a safe place to go to can find warmth and shelter, good tea and coffee and a sympathetic ear. There will be employment plans and barista training for disadvantaged members of the community, pamphlets explaining where to go for help and further information, and the knowledge of a safe space for everyone, right in the heart of Lumiose City._

_And even then, Diantha admits, "It's hopelessly inadequate. Sure, we can help people in Lumiose. But what about kids in Dendemille who are struggling to work out their gender or sexuality? What about disadvantaged people in Cyllage, who may never get to visit the city? What about kids getting bullied in schools, what about kids in abusive family situations, who might not be able to go out to the cafe whenever they need to? We need widespread cultural change, to teach people and to help people. We need this to go worldwide."_

_"Big worldwide movements like It Gets Better, they're great in principle," Augustine Sycamore adds as he finishes his coffee. "It shows kids that they won't always have to suffer, that they'll be able to be happy later in life. But I think that it's ignoring a very fundamental fact."_

_"It's ignoring that these kids need help_ now _," chimes in Diantha, practically finishing her twin's thought. The professor nods as Diantha elaborates: "We need to be telling kids that they don't need to just put up with suffering and pain in the hope that one day it'll just disappear, because this is_ such _a vulnerable time, and when you're suffering and depressed and suicidal, 'later' is practically an eternity away."_

_Augustine nods. "My legs are covered in self-harm scars," he quietly confesses. "I considered killing myself multiple times. The fact that I didn't is due to the support of my family, and there are some kids don't have that support at all. Gender, sexuality, race, wealth and poverty, disability, mental health... we're all fighting these battles on multiple fronts. Just saying that it's going to get better doesn't actually help in any way."_

_"And when I was fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, some patronising adult - particularly some transphobic cis guy - telling me, 'Oh, just stick it out, it'll be okay when you're an adult' would have been infuriating. It still would be. So yes, youth services_ now _are absolutely necessary, just to make sure that trans kids and teens actually have the chance to grow up to become trans adults. The cafe is a good start, but it needs to go further. What we need to do is no less than changing the world."_

 

The magazine goes public the next Monday. Augustine is a bundle of nerves that morning - the weekend has been spent over coffee with Calem and visiting Lysandre in hospital, inspecting the cafe site with Diantha and mulling over the words printed in paper.

They need to change the world. Lysandre had once tried to do that, but in the most destructive way possible. Wouldn't it be beautiful, wouldn't it be perfect if this could be Lysandre's lasting legacy? If, once he healed, he would be able to throw his resources and natural charisma and intelligence into making the world a better place for the next generations?

These thoughts are on Augustine's mind that Monday morning, gazing at their reflection in the mirror. It's a more neutral day today, an androgynous day to match the words outing themself in the magazine. They bite their lip for a moment, regarding their bare upper body, hands on their hips - and then they grab the bra and the shirt bought in the women's section (because, quite frankly, it's cute, and it's just cloth, it's just fabric cut in a particular way) from the closet, dressing before they can change their mind.

There's another shirt and a binder in their bag, just in case, but Augustine leaves the apartment with their head held high.

Let people stare. Let people wonder about the combination of curves and stubble. All bodies are good bodies, and Augustine will not be ashamed of theirs.

The day is uneventful. Cosette gives them a thumbs up when they arrive at the lab, holding up her copy of the magazine and congratulating them on an interview well done, and when Dexio drops off a bundle of lab reports, Augustine has a quiet word with him about Calem's reaction to the article, mentions that it would be good for them to have a quick talk. Dexio promises to do so next time he and Calem cross paths, and the morning hurries on.

It's nearing evening when Augustine leaves for home. The setting spring sun casts a golden glow over the streets of Lumiose City, and the air is fresh and clean. There are a pair of Furfrou playing with their trainer in a garden, an Espurr grooms itself in the shadow of an alleyway, and the Skiddo give a bleat of gratitude when Augustine stops for their customary offering of a few fresh berries from the lab garden.

Passing by a cafe, they stop short as a child - a young teenager, a single Pokeball on their belt, clutching a magazine in one hand - rushes out in front of them, eyes wide and awed. "Professor Sycamore?" they blurt out, and Augustine sees that the magazine in the teenager's hand is Alexa's.

"That's me!" they smile, trying not to be too self-conscious about how they look, about how they present. "Can I help you with anything?"

The child blushes, ducking their head, and holds out the magazine, open to the article. "I read the interview," they say in a rush, "And - it was really good, and I've been doing all this thinking, right, and I think I'm genderqueer, and reading the article was like - I think it changed my life, or saved it, I really liked the article and it made me cry a bit when it said you used to hurt yourself because I do too and I'm really happy you're okay now and I hope that that means that I can be okay too, and I can't wait for the new cafe to open, and - can you sign it for me?"

Augustine blinks, then goes a bit pink as well, taking the offered magazine and pen. "Of course," they smile, "What's your name?"

The teenager leaves with a signed copy, with Augustine's promise to come back to the lab in a couple of days when Diantha is visiting to get her autograph as well, and with their own promise to apply for the Pokedex program once they're old enough.

Augustine leaves with a smile and a spring in their step and the knowledge that they've helped at least one person. If nothing else matters, they've helped someone.

And that's worth its weight in gold.

 

_"I'm not going to give anyone false promises," Augustine Sycamore, genderfluid professor, says as we part ways. "Because I don't want to patronise anyone that way. I'm not going to just say 'it gets better' and leave it at that. It's going to take effort and there'll be pain in the mean time, because there's no magical solution that will instantly cause happiness for everyone."_

_"But we're going to fight," says Diantha Carnet, superstar, champion, and trans woman, "For everyone who's ever wondered about who they are. It's the least we can do."_

_Augustine grins and throws an arm around their sister's shoulders, twins standing together in solidarity. "We're both going to. It'll be hard, but we'll get there in the end. There'll be tears, but we'll survive. We're not going anywhere. And we'll be alright."_


End file.
